These Demons Of Mine
by gaberz92
Summary: Bella is in a mental institution. She has been struggling with her past to get better. Her doctor's daughter is the new intern at the institution. Can she help her get better or is she to far lost with the demons that hunt her? Based on a song written by a friend. WARRING there is rape and self harm if you are easly triggered by these pease don't read. Rated M mostly for language
1. Chapter 1

**First of WARRING if you are easily triggered by rape then don't read there is a rape scene in this chapter. Probably might be the only rape scene I will write.**

 **How ever this will be a dark story hoping to lighten it up as we go along. At the start of every chapter there will be a part of the lyrics.**

 **I have to say that this type of writing is out of my comfort zone but I am going to go through with it because it was inspired by a song my friend wrote. At first I thought of making it a one shot but ideas came into my head so here goes nothing…**

… **.**

 **I'm in my room alone**

 **You don't know how hard I've fought**

 **I don't want you to know**

 **Of all these thoughts that keep plaguing me**

 **These demons all in my head**

For the past two years I have been in this hell hole. I mean it its just a hole in the wall. Well maybe I don't mean it literally but still being in here has been hell. You may think I am complaining but if you had been here all along you would want outs too.

There is nothing comforting about the plain white walls and halls with rows and rows of doors. Nothing comforting about all the stupid people that surround me or the fucked up doctors that tell you, you are not right.

 _Shut the fuck up and tell them where you are!_

 **Right. Sorry.**

So I am in the Sinclair's mental institution, basically a crazy house. My parents placed me in here. Why? Well that's simple cause I am fucked in the head!

 _NO. WE. ARE. NOT!_

 **Well maybe if you would go away they wouldn't think I'm fucked up!**

I was always bother to my parents. They had me at a very young age but neither had the courage to get rid of me. There for I became a burden to them, I had all I needed but I basically raised my self. Charlie and Renee, my so called parents were hardly ever home. I would always stay with a neighbor or at my aunt's house. This is where I probably became so fucked up. Since my aunt's house was too far my parents thought that it would be a good idea for my cousin to come live with us.

 **I bet you are wondering how I ended up in here.**

 _As if they would care about us?!_

 **Shut up and let me finish.**

You may also wonder who I keep talking to. Well that's me talking to… well ME. Doctors here would call it a split personality. Me personally I just think its my subconscious. Any ways back as to how I got in here.

 **Two years ago**

 _I woke up as I have everyday with out any motivations to life. In all honesty I want to die, this is how I have felt every day for the past three years. Nothing has change and I never thought anything was going to change._

 _My alarm went off, I knocked it and got out of bed then went to the bathroom to get ready for school. It was my first day of sophomore year._

 _I got up and entered the bathroom and went to take a shower. My parents had left last night to L.A. so I was all alone except for my one nightmare._

 _The water cascade down my back washing away all the filth I felt on my body, when the shower door slid open._

 _His bare hands graced my shoulder making me flinch. He pulling my hair away from my back. I started sobbing knowing what was coming my way._

" _shh. Shh. Its all going to be okay. You know I love you" His touch was rough and heavy. The sobs started to shake my body as he pressed him self to me. I could feel his already hard member pressing on the inside of my thighs._

" _Pleased…" I still pleaded after all the times. I don't know why if he never listens. He had robbed me from my innocence and kept on torturing me since then_

" _shhh don't cry." his lips pressed on my shoulder and his hands pulled at my hips while his lifted up a bit_

" _Come on don't you like it"_

" _N..no" his other hand went up to my breast._

" _I know you do." He pushed my feet a part and slide in to me roughly._

" _Please just stop!" he covered my mouth and kept going in and out of me relentlessly. My whimpers and sobs died in his hands. While his groans and moans sounded in my ear. I wanted nothing but to be dead in this instant. I was thankful he never lasted so long._

 _After he left I sat on the floor under the shower and let it wash what it could. Once I was able to calm down, I got up and scrubbed my skin till it was a red like color but even then I still felt dirty. I got into my room and pulled out a black jeans pants and a black hoodie and started walking to school. I used to eat breakfast at home but then it became too much to sit on the same table and look at him. Eventually I started eating breakfast at school when I felt like I could stomach it._

 _Monique was the only girl at school that I could call a friend. She was friends with Lauren, Sylvia and Jessie. Monique had asked me to come with her later in the night to Lauren's party. Knowing my parents won't be home I agreed to go with her._

 _At the end of the school day Monique came with me home. She knew I hated being home but I never told her why. Even after she found out that I used to cut, she still stayed. A couple times she tried to ask me why but she never pushed the issue. After she met Eddie my cousin, Monique started to get suspicious but I denied it because I knew what he would do to me if I ever said anything._

 _At Lauren's birthday._

 _I was by the stairs with my back pressed to it talking to Lauren and Monique. When someone took me by the arm and yanked me away._

" _Ugh that hurts!" I shut up when I saw a very drunk Eddie standing there._

" _Why are you not HOME!"_

" _Because I asked her to come with me!" Monique came next to me and pulled me to her side and Lauren stood next to her._

" _And this is my party. I don't believe I invited you here so leave!"_

" _I'm not leaving with out her"_

" _She is staying with me this week end so you can leave" I tried to move from Monique's side but she wouldn't let me._

" _Please Monique I… have to go"_

" _No Bella. I won't let you go with him. I know…" her eyes were pleading and I knew she was concerned about me._

" _Isabella!" I always flinched when he called me by my full name, it meant that he was pissed and I was in for a lot more than he just using me._

" _Please Monique don't make this worst?"_

" _Fine. If you are not coming with me then I will come with you"_

" _No please you can't do that." She left no other option as she tugged me out of the party that night. Eddie followed us close behind smiling at me and looking at Monique up and down. I couldn't let him touch her, that much I knew. She was nothing but good to me, and if I had to be honest. I loved her in a way I didn't love anyone else. I didn't know if I was in love with her but I knew I loved her too much to let him taint her. Monique drive us back to my house. The closer we got the more my skin crawled with fear. We got out and went inside. Eddie went into the kitchen to get a beer._

" _Isabella!"_

" _I'm coming" I took Monique's hand and look at her._

" _Please Leave. I don't want anything to happen to you" she came next to me and held my face in her hands_

" _I won't leave you alone with him. I know you don't want me to know but I am not stupid. I can see the way you flinch when someone touches you or gets too close but I am the only one whom you don't coward from." I took her hands in mine and nodded._

" _Okay but go upstairs. I'll be their in a bit. Promise me you won't come down regardless of what you hear."_

" _Isabella!"_

" _I can't promise that."_

" _Yes you can. You must, I can't have him hurt you too!"_

" _Isabellaaa!"_

" _okay I promise" I watch her leave then I went in to find him standing by the counter._

" _where is your friend?"_

" _Please leave her out of this" he came and grabbed me by my jaw very hard._

" _Did you tell her?!"_

" _No. No I didn't" he released me but his hand connected with the side of my face._

" _I don't believe you." I fell to on the edge of the table hitting my head._

" _get up stupid bitch!" I forced my self to stand up but my vision was blurry. He yanked me up by my hair and through me on the table pulling at my pants I started crying._

" _When I'm done with you she will be next!"_

" _No please. No." he slapped me again and blood filled my mouth._

" _YOU FUCKER THAT'S THE LAST TIME YOU HURT HER!" a loud thud sounded followed by a body hitting the floor._

 _My only fear was that it would be Monique's body and not his. I sat up wiping my mouth._

" _are you okay?" her voice was laced with worry and concern but it was a relief to know she was okay. Her hands were on my hips._

" _Yes."_

" _Come on let's get out of here before.." Eddie got up and pulled her by her hair sending her backwards causing her to hit her head on the edge of the counter blood started dripping of her head._

" _You stupid little tramp she is not going anywhere! She is mine do you get that?!" Monique was trying to get up but he kicked her._

 _ **You gonna stand there and watch him hurt her?**_

 _NO._

 _ **THE LET ME FUCKING DO SOMETHING!**_

 _I couldn't watch him hurt her anymore. Next to me there was vase with flowers in it, I took it and got of the table, smashing it to the back of his head. He grunt and fell on top of Monique. We both pushed him away from her._

" _I'm so sorry" I touch the side of her face and cleaned it with a cloth that was on the counter._

" _Don't apologize. You didn't do this."_

" _But its my fault you are here."_

" _No it's not. I came of my own will." I took her to the living room and sat her down. Her head was still bleeding._

" _Stay here I will get the first aid kit."_

 _ **Are you going to let him get away with all this?**_

 _ **He hurt Monique!**_

 _ **Monique the only one that has showed you love! The only one who has cared enough to defend you?**_

" _SHUT UP!" I was standing at the door with the kit in my hand._

" _Bella, who are you talking too?"_

" _no one sorry I was just having bad memories"_

 _ **You know I can't let him stay like this… he will only keep hurting us.**_

 _ **He could have gotten to her…**_

 _STOP. STOP. STOOOOP!_

 _That day was the first time that I had heard the voice in my head and he kept pushing until I snapped._

" _Monique can we leave? Are you feeling okay to drive?"_

" _I don't know. Would you mind driving?"_

" _sure. Common let's get you in to the car" I helped her to stand up and we went out to the car. Monique got in to the passengers side an I took the drivers side._

" _Where are the keys?"_

" _I… shit they are in the house I set them on the table when I tried to help you."_

" _Stay here I'll get them" the door was open but she held my hand._

" _You can't go in there alone" I looked at her and took both her hands in mine_

" _He is out remember? I'll just grab the keys and run out."_

" _Okay." I smiled at her and touched our lips neither of us moved for a while. As crazy as it may seem that was my first actual kiss. When I pulled away she was smiling at me._

 _I went in to the house and got the keys then I heard him groaning and knew he was waking up._

 _ **You can't leave. Not with him alive.**_

 _ **He will just follow you.**_

 _ **He will make your life a living hell again.**_

 _I felt rage coursing through my veins. Something I hadn't really felt before it consumed every bit of my body._

 _ **that's it let me out! He has to pay for what he did…**_

" _Bella…" his voice was heavy and the simple sound of it triggered that las bit in me._

 _I felt myself walk over to the cabinets pulled it open and took out a knife. I didn't feel like me but like a puppet doing what someone else wanted._

" _Bella what are you doing with that knife"_

" _Oh Eddie. You are awake"_

" _Bella." He had a warning tone and I didn't like it. For the first time in three years I didn't feel fear of him. I took the knife and placed it under his neck pushing it making him lift his neck._

" _You are done hurting me." The knife sliced at his neck making him bleed but not deep to make him die. He held on to his neck and whimpered. Then I clubbed him in the head with the back of the knife. I took the edge of his pants and opened it._

 _ **Yesss! You feel that? You feel free you feel alive!**_

" _What are you with out your dick Eddie? Nothing but a piece of shit!" I took his dick in one hand and held the knife under it._

" _No! Bella Please DON'T do this. I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY!"_

" _Sorry doesn't change all you did to us! It_ _ **DOESN'T**_ _CHANGE THAT YOU TOOK MY INNOCENCE AWAY!" I took the knife and cut at him. His screams filled my ear like music._

" _Now you will have something taken away from you like you too away from me" blood covered my hand and knife. I let the knife fall on the floor then I stood up and laughed like I was really enjoying it. That was the last I saw of him as I turned and walked away._

 _Once I was out side I paused at the door, it was raining. A beautiful night fill with stars, partially clouded and rain. I let it wash away the blood off my hands, and as it poured down on me I felt it wash away what he had done to me. I knew it wouldn't completely take it away but it felt like things were going to be okay._

 _I walked in to the car and started the engine then took off. I didn't know where we would go but I just wanted to be away from here._

" _Bella."_

" _Yes Monique?" she took my right hand in hers and squeezed it._

" _Let's leave right now me and you... My parents own a house down in Chicago by the river." I smiled at her then kissed her palm_

" _Let's do that but how are we going to get through?"_

" _My parents have an account for me but I made another, I have been saving money. There is enough for both of us, we could finish high school start all over and forget everything"_

" _I would love to do that."_

" _Good because that is all I have ever wanted since I met you."_

" _why did you never say anything?" we were now on the road leaving Jackson behind us._

" _I never thought you would feel anything for me and when I started to put the pieces together I just kept it my mouth shut." It was still raining and we were crossing an intersection when a bright light appeared on Monique's side and the car we were in was hit._

….

After that I don't remember anything but waking up in a hospital to find out Monique had died, and I was once again alone and helpless.

Knowing she had died because of me made everything worst. She had been a friend and at the end my lover, and the life ahead that we wanted would never happen. After the news I got into a bigger depression and pulled out the IV I had in my arms and broke a vase that was next to the bed. I took a piece of the glass and sliced at my arms. Doctors came in as I passed out. A day later my parent came home found me in the hospital doctors did check ups on me. Police had been to my house and found Eddie on the floor dead.

Someone I loved and someone I hated had died that night. I had wished with all my power that I had died that night too if it hadn't been because of the doctors I would have made it.

The police added one and one plus what the doctor said, they came to a conclusion. I wasn't found guilty but I would still go to jail for Monique's death. I had told my parents what had actually happen and they just refused to believe in me saying that Eddie could never do such things.

The doctor's wife that had looked after me worked at the Sinclair's mental institution. During the week I spent at the hospital she was the only one that came to visit me. She had taken me as one of her patients but I never spoke a word to her. She would sit by my bed. Sometimes for more than an hour looking at me. The first couple days she tried to make me speak but I never budge. She said she wanted to help me. The irony in that.

The day I was to be released of the hospital, police had showed up to take me to boot camp till I turned eighteen. Ms. Platt had showed up with some papers and telling the officers that I was not "Fit" for a place like that. She then told them that I would be institutionalized at the clinic where she works until I got better.

So that's how I ended in this shit hole. I have always kept to myself yet I still knew everyone in here. I was in the second floor. This place was divided in three parts. The first floor was for those that had eating disorders and were depressed. The second was where they had those depressed, self-harmers and those with other mental disorders. And the third floor was for the psychos and part isolation for those that got out of hand.

Rumors had been going around that Dr. Platt's step-daughter was going to be arriving to the clinic as an intern student. No one knew who she was except for CeeCee.

CeeCee was Dr. Robert's daughter, she had been in hear longer than anyone else. From the day I came in CeeCee has been very persistent into getting into my pants. After the first week of her pushing at me I got fed up and the anger took over me. I had given her a burst lip and bruise eye that landed me in isolation for three days but that only seemed to spur her on.

Monique had been the only person I never flinched from when they got too close or touched me. Yet CeeCee seemed to have that exact same effect on me. Even with her pushing her self on me I didn't flinch or recoiled away. All her attitude did to me was annoy me, maybe because I knew she was wouldn't just take something. For her to possess something she had to be granted permission. It had taken her six months of persuasion to get a kiss out of me.


	2. Chapter 2

**They won't let me get out of bed**

 **I don't know what to do**

 **I don't know what I should do**

 **All these thoughts that want to murder me**

 **They just keep bringing me down**

 **bringing me down**

Have you ever just laid down in bed and felt like you never want to get up?

Like it's just to much for you to handle?

I have, actually that's how I feel right now.

 **Too bad you don't have privacy in this fucking place.**

 _Well that's one of the downsides._

Since last night I have been laying down in this same position with my hands behind my head and looking at the roof. I have thought about everything that had happen.

Next to my bed there is a picture of Monique and I. I looked at it and close my eyes and I can see her standing next to me in the lunch line. Her tanned complexion, black wavy hair that was always loose, her gray eyes looking at me as she smiled with her full reddish lips.

Those lips so soft, my lips tingled and I could still feel her lips on mine.

 _Why? Why did you have to die?_

 **It was your fault we lost her.**

 _I didn't know. If I had known I would have never gotten us in that car!_

 **Well now it is too late, she is gone and I am all you have left.**

"I was starting to wonder where you were."

"CeeCee. I am not up for your games today so please leave" I didn't even have to look at the door to know she was standing at the door leaning on her shoulder because that was what she always did.

"Aw common Bella. Don't be so rude I just want to spend sometime with you"

"And I want to be alone."

"You know it's not good to be alone so long. Your starts to think and remember and then over think and then you end up right back where you started"

 **She is annoying me…**

"CeeCee" the bed on my side dipped and her hand rested on my stomach

"What is it have you finally decided to let me show you what it's like to be loved?"

"You DON'T love me CeeCee. I am just another trophy to you"

"Maybe you are right but you are that one trophy that will be placed higher than any other." Her face was inches from mine as I looked at her deep blue eyes.

"What makes you think I want to be a trophy?"

 **Get this bitch away from me.**

 _Shut up. You should be use to this by now._

"What makes you not want to be my trophy?" CeeCee sat up from the push I gave her as I stood up from the bed, then headed to the door CeeCee followed me.

"Look CeeCee I am not in the mood for these games. You won't have me and I won't ever want you. Okay?"

"Why? Because of your ghost girlfriend? Is that why?"

 **That's it! She doesn't get to speak of Monique!**

My skin felt hot as those words left her mouth. No one and I meant no one would ever talk about Monique in no way. The rage, as that is what I have called it for a long time took me up high and I turned around to see CeeCee pinned up against the wall. My hand at her neck chocking her but she wasn't scared. She was actually smiling at me.

"Don't YOU EVER talk about her. You didn't know her so you don't get to speak about her!" my knuckles were going white and my face was inches from her. I probably looked like a dog with rabies while she looked like she was high on some drug

"that's it baby. Common let it all out. Play with me."

"UGH! You are fucking sick!" my hands fell away

"I am but so are you Bella. I can see you want to hit me. You want it as much as I want you to hit me!"

"You are right I want to hit you right now, but I won't do it to please you" I started walking down the hall going to the lunch room. I had skipped breakfast and I was now getting hungry. CeeCee came walking next to me, both of us in silence until we were almost by the recitation room; this is where everyone one comes to interact.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have talked about her."

"just forget it." We kept on walking heading to the lunch room. On our way we passed by the couches that are in front of the television. Cole, James, Brie, Ben and Amanita were sitting watching sponge bob. On the tables playing chest were Ward(Edward I just call him that) and Zack next to them was Andy and Mandy. Those last two were inseparable where you see one you were bound to find the other.

"You know the New intern arrived today."

"I heard so. Have you met her before?"

"yea she used to be my friend when we were kids."

"Do is she like your age?"

"No. She is like four years older than me."

"Which makes her like twenty?"

"She should be like twenty one" so that how CeeCee knew the intern

"What's her name?"

"Mary Alice, but she use to hate being called Mary when we were younger." I nodded at CeeCee and med line for our food there were three kids in front of us. Jason, Ramon and Sarah though I have never spoken to them they would always smile or nod at me if we came across each other.

The lunch lady Ms. Sue was a nice lady always smiling at us even when some one was mean at her she would tell us to have a nice day and smile.

"Hi Bella." She smiled bright at me and it was hard to resist not smiling at her.

"Hi Ms. Sue." There was an air to her that made you feel normal.

"How are you feeling today dear?"

"On the down side but I hope it will fade as the day goes by. What about your self?"

"Just fine as always and hopefully after you have my spaghetti and meat balls you will feel better."

"I hope so cause I am starving." Ms. Sue handed me a plate of food and plastic bottle of juice.

"Thank you"

"You are welcome. Have a nice day dear"

"you too" I walked away not waiting for CeeCee and when to sit on the table to the back next to the wall. I placed the plate on the table and sat down to eat.

While I ate I kept thinking about Monique. Back at school she would be sitting next to me talking about the bands she loved and how she wanted to follow this one band on tours. She would always make me listen to their songs, the bands name was baby metal. It was made up by these three teenage Chinese girls. At first I didn't like them but with Monique's enthusiasm it was had not to get to like them.

I looked next to me and saw her there sitting smiling bright, her red lips the twinkle in her eye.

"What are you starring at?"

 **Does she always have to interrupt?**

"Nothing. I was just thinking"

"what about?" I kept on eating and didn't answer her. I really did hope she would get the hint and just leave me alone.

I thought back to what doctors Platt had said about not being able to remember the accident. She said that I had suppressed the incident because it was too traumatic. In her file that she kept she said that it reported that I had dragged Monique's body out of the car. But I couldn't remember any of that just that I woke up asking for Monique and the doctor told me she had died from the impact of the eighteen wheeler truck. It had been my fault she was dead, It was my fault we would never have a future together.

"Bella!"

"What! What do you want CeeCee? Don't you fucking get it? I want to be alone!" I hadn't realized I was crying until I saw my vision blur. I started to walk away unit I got to the corridors I started to run. On my way I bumped in to someone but I just kept running until I got to my room.

Once I got there I fell on the floor next to my bed crying. I couldn't deal with all this I wanted this to be over I wanted to be dead like Monique. I didn't belong in here I belonged with her.

 **Shut up… Stop being weak!**

"No you shut up! Leave me alone"

 **I'll never do that. I am you.**

Foot steps sounded at my door then next to me a hand was placed on my back sending chills down my spine.

"hey, are you okay? what happened?" the voice was low and soft. I turned to the side to see who crouched next to me but I didn't recognize this person. Instinctively I moved away from the closeness.

"Hey I'm not going to hurt you." She lifted her hands up in the air. Her eyes they were a clear butterscotch color and her face looked very juvenile. Perfect smooth skin and pink lips, spiky hair adorning her hear like shape face.

"I'm sorry."

"don't be. I shouldn't have just barge in like that."

"It's alright" she smiled at me and I wiped away the tears in my eyes

"I am Alice. Alice Brandon" she stretched out her hand at me I took it and gave her a small smile.

"I'm Isabella Swan but you can call me Bella."

"It's nice to meet you Bella."

"You are doctor Platt's step daughter right?" she smiled a little brighter

"News sure travels fast in here."

"It's not every day that they get new interns in here."

"Yeah that is true."

"You okay now?" I was still sobbing a little but there was something about this girl that calmed me some how.

"A little." She then moved and sat next to me against the bed

"Do you wanna talk about it?" _could I?_

 **Don't be stupid. Why would she care she doesn't know you.**

"It's nothing. I just woke up in a down mood and… I guess it's just all crashed together."

"Ah one of those days… well if it's any help we all get them and if you ever need someone to talk I am going to be here if you need me." I snorted

"Right. Last time someone said something like that I got her killed." Tears started to fill my eyes again. I pulled my knees to my chest and hid my face as I started to cry thinking about Monique.

"It… should have… been me…" Alice's hand started to rub my back.

"It's okay everything will be okay… you know thing happens for a reason maybe you have something big ahead waiting for you when you get out of hear." There was something soothing about the way her hand caresses my back. I nodded at with my face still in between my knees. Her hands came over my shoulder and pulled me slowly to her side. It took me a while to stop crying and feel a little better.

I still had my head down but I heard the foot steps coming down the corridor and stopping at my door. I didn't look up I am sure I knew it was CeeCee since she is the only one that comes here.

"Alice." I felt rather than saw her tense up.

"CeeCee" her voice was a little strain and not soft or low the way she spoke to me.

"You know she doesn't like being touched." I lifted my head as she removed her hands from me.

"Is that why you moved away the first time?" I nodded at her.

"It's okay though. You have a soothing effect on me." I took her hand because she was going to pull away from me.

"I am sorry I should have known"

"don't worry. Thank you for staying" she smiled at me. Her eyes they were so beautiful I could stare at them for long.

"What ever happen to _I want to be alone_ " CeeCee's voice was laced with anger.

"Maybe when I said that it meant I need to be alone and not trying to constantly stop you from getting in my pants" Her eyes darkened in anger glaring at me and Alice before she turned around and walked away.

"I see she hasn't change much" I looked at Alice to see her shaking her head.

"Has she always been like that?"

"Not fully no she has always had a tendency to get what she likes yes but her temper is not the same. She use to be loving and sweet." Alice face turned in to a thoughtful one while she played with a ring on her pinky finger.

"Anyways I have to finish some stuff around but I will come by and check on you before it's bed time yeah?" we both stood up from the ground.

"sure" she gave me a small smile and made move to hug me but then stopped. I watched as she moved back then I stretched out my hand.

"See you… later?" I have her a small smile as we shook hands.

"Sure"

After Alice left I went over to my bed and laid down looking up at the sealing. At some point I must have fallen asleep cause next thing I knew someone was caressing my cheek trying to wake me up. I opened my eyes to see gray ones looking down on me, her red lips curved in to a smile.

"Hey sleepy head"

"Hi. What are you doing here?"

"I came to visit you" I smiled her and placed my hand on her cheek.

"I missed you!"

"I missed you too!" she closed the gap and kissed my lips her hands were on the sides of my face and mines at her hips. The kiss was soft just our lips touching and moving. She then moved and rested her forehead on mine.

"I will always be there with you… I was there by choice, non of this is your fault." I looked at her confused.

"What are you talking about?"

"You need to get better for her." My frowned in confusion.

"who is her? Monique you are not making any sense."

"Maybe not now." Monique once more leant down and placed a kiss on my lips then got up and walked to the door there she stopped and looked back at me smiling.

"Just don't ever forget me" my heart started to pound as she turned around to leave the room. I got up.

"Please don't leave. Monique." I ran to the door but she wasn't there. I kept running down the hall trying to find her. The white wall soon turned black but I kept on going.

"Monique!" my legs gave up on me after running for so long.

"Come back… please come back… Monique…" I fell to the ground as the tears started to form in my eyes and the sobs ripped at my chest.

"Monique." I looked up at the sky and yelled in to the void of emptiness.

Two small hands held my by the shoulders shaking me.

"Bella wake up. Wake up sweetie it's just a dream…" I bolted up right hugging the person sitting next to me. Her hand started to rub circles on my back to calm me down.

"Heeey it's alright girl. It was just a dream. You are alright" I just kept on sobbing and clinging to her as if my life depended on it.

 _ **Okay so that the second chapter. Hopefully all of you will like it. I know I ended it there but you will see what happens in the next chapter. As for the pairing well I think we just found out it will be a Bellice fic…**_

 _ **Can any of you guess what's going on with Alice and CeeCee? I see some tension there XD**_

 _ **SEE YOU ALL SOON!**_


	3. Chapter 3

**It's been way too long that I have updated this story, Sorry for that I got carried away with the other one I was writing. At this point in life it has been hard for me to keep writing with everything going on in life but I will do my best to finish all my stories.**

* * *

 **I thought I had this under control**

 **But apparently I don't**

 **I don't know what to do**

 **I don't know what I should do**

I sat there hugging this girl for my dear life while I cried my eyes out. I hadn't even looked at her face but her hands rubbing at my back seemed to help me calm down a little. She kept on repeating 'that it is okay, that everything is alright' but nothing was alright. I felt an emptiness in my chest that would never go away, Monique was missing and no one would fill that gap in my chest. I knew I had dreamt with Monique but I couldn't remember what it was about, I remember her coming in here and kissing me but after that the dream just gets blurry until I am running down these halls. After I was calm enough I pulled away and looked at who had comfort me in these moments.

"Alice?" she smiled at me but her smile didn't seem as bright as this morning.

"Were you expecting someone else?"

"No. I just… I don't know. What are you doing here?" she stood up and handed me a tray of food that was on the table beside the bed.

"Well Ms. Sue was not feeling well these evening so they sent her home. I covered for her and I saw you didn't show up for dinner, thought that, maybe I could bring you your pills, some food and check how you were" I took the tray and look down at it then at her.

"Thank you." Her smile was bright again like this morning before she left.

"You are welcome" my chest still felt tight and empty. My eye felt heavy and I had a slight headache. I could just imagine my eyes would be red from all the crying I had done. I stared for a while at the food wanting to eat it but my stomach protested at the thought of eating. So I took the pills and placed the tray back where she had taken it from.

"You are not hungry?" I shook my head.

"Not right now maybe in a little while"

"Okay" her voice was low. I scooted back against the wall and pulled my knees up to my chest hugging them. Alice did the same except her hold was a lot more relaxed than mine.

"Is that your sister?" I looked at her to see her pointing at the picture.

"Who? Oh Monique… no she was my girlfriend I guess…"

"You guess?" her head did this side tilt in confusion it was so cute.

"We were friends but we liked each other more than that. At the end we had planned out a whole future. So yeah I guess that makes us like girlfriends"

"Oh" Alice sat there and I could see she was turning the wheels in her head. It's so weird but she was opposite to me in that sense. She wears her feelings while I hide mines… well most of the time. Thankfully she didn't ask about Monique or I wouldn't know if I could answer her.

"So um have you been in here for long?"

"About two years"

"How did you get in here? If you don't mind me asking" I looked at the wall then at the floor

"I umm… I don't want to seem rude but I rather not talk about that"

"That's alright don't worry." Again we fell quiet but it wasn't uncomfortable. Alice seemed like a nice person.

 **That's what they all seem like. Until you let them in and they mess you up.**

 _Shut up go away and leave me alone._

 **Why would I? I am the only one who will be there for you all the time.**

All you have done is cause me trouble.

 **I am not your trouble, I am your strength. I am your rage.**

"Hey you there?"

"Hmm… oh, sorry I was thinking. What did you say?"

"I asked if you have any siblings?" once more I looked at the picture of Monique

"No. I'm the only child" a low hum came from her followed by a nod.

"What about you?" I spoke before I could event think.

"I have two brothers. We don't see each other often, most of the time I am studying which means I don't get to be home a lot."

"What are you studying?" something in her eyes lit up when I asked her that.

"Well I am coursing in clinical psychology. Do you know what that is?"

"I am guessing it has to do with crazy people like me" her smile was grew a bit showing some white teeth.

"You are not crazy Bella. Clinical Psychology has to do with the assessment and treatment of mental illnesses, abnormal behavior or any psychiatric disorders. The topic is very broad and it may take a lot of explaining. I have always love to volunteer in places like community centers."

"I guess there is where I developed this like for psychology. It is makes me happy to help people, for them to have someone they can talk to and help them move forward u know. It's not about them being crazy, sometime what someone really needed is a friend you know. Someone to listen to them, help them, guide them in their good and bad. This is why I decided to study psychology." It was to listen as she spoke. Her voice seemed to soothe me.

"That is nice, you seem to genuinely want to help others. There isn't much people left like that."

"Thanks. Most people think I am in this because of my parents, with them being doctors and all."

 **You like her don't you baby girl?**

No I don't now leave

 **Oh I can tell you do darling. No one had engage you like this after Monique.**

Don't you dare compare her with Monique!

"Bella are you alright?" she was looking at me with her head tilted to the side.

"Umm yes, I am." I stood up from the bed

"Are you sure. I was asking you something and it was like you were no hearing me."

 **We should play with her Isabela...**

No! We will not now shut up.

'I'm sorry, but I think you should leave." Alice stood up from the bed looking confused.

"Oh… okay. Did I do something wrong?"

"No, you didn't. I am… just tiered sorry." Her head gave me a nod as she stepped in front of me. Alice stretched her hand out and touched my arm.

"See you tomorrow" I nodded at her with a small smile. She stepped out of my room to leave then gave me one last look. I had just laid down on the bed facing the wall when I felt the bed sink a little. I was tiered and wanted to sleep, all the crying had drained me.

The buzzer of all the doors closing sounded. My eyes were heavy and I knew I would fall asleep soon.

"It is okay my Bella. It will all be okay" Monique's soft voice sounded at my ears as I felt her hands wrap around me.

* * *

"Mom can I ask you some questions?" her back was to me ask she was looking in to some files

"Sure honey, tell me" her caramel hair cascaded down her pack looking so beautiful and I wondered how she could have her hair that long.

"I was wondering about one of the girls hear in the second floor."

"What about her darling."

"Well I have been talking to her since yesterday, I found her last night in her room, and she was tossing around in her bed. I tried to wake her up for a good while and when she did she was crying and I held her for a long time till she was calm. Anyways, so I stayed with her for a long while but at some points she seemed to space out like her mind was in another place and he body was just an empty shell. I wanted to ask you if I could see her chart." Esme turned around and looked at me.

"Would you happen to be talking about Isabella?" her blue eyes regarded me as I nodded at her.

"You said you held her as she cried?" I looked at Esme and nodded at her.

"Huh, that is interesting. Two years here and she has never let anyone have that physical contact with her like that. I fact she dislikes being touched in anyway. Alice I'm sorry I can't give you her chart however I am able to tell you about her"

"That is okay I already knew that would be the answer I just wanted to know her diagnose." Esme nodded at me before she spoke.

"Well we have not fully diagnose her as she is still in the prodromal period she is showing different changes that are making it a bit complex to dictate in which direction she will go, but for now we have her assigned under split personality. As you have notice she does have black out for short periods. I have seen this in her sessions with Dr. Roberts. One in which we saw her, sort off, arguing either with herself or with someone she thinks is there. Bella herself has admitted to hearing voices in her head. Dr. Roberts thinks that Bella is developing a split personality but I think she is in the prodromal period of schizophrenia."

"I see. What about this girl, Monique does she visit Bella often?" Esme shook her head.

"No darling. Monique passed away before we brought Bella here." I nodded

"I thought something like that from the way Bella addressed her in the past tense. So could that be why Bella is here?"

"Yes and No but I am in no position to speak about that with you. What I can do since I see you have taken an interest in Bella, is speak with Dr. Roberts and ask her to have you assist her. Maybe with you there in therapy it would be of help to Bella opening up more and help her get better" I smiled at her

"I would love that Mother. Now if you would excuse me I will go and give my morning walk around the institute." As I walked out I couldn't help but think of Bella. That innocent face and those beautiful yet troubled eyes that held so much pain in them.

I walked by the patio watching all these people in here playing games some just sitting around others talking to other friends.

"Well if it isn't my favorite ballerina." That bittersweet voice came from my left.

"CeeCee..."


End file.
